and hurt feelings. Is it worth the effort, the organic cerebral storage and the emotional fortitude?
No. It is not. Grudges require energy and effort. Why waste precious processing speed on an emotion that performs zero functions. Nothing other than reminding you of the negative experiences you’ve had with someone who May or may not even be in your life anymore.
Do I listen to my own advice? Mostly 😂
At one point I was holding a pretty deep-rooted grudge against my biological mother. It took so much out of me mentally and physically. Around holidays, my anxiety would increase regarding the sheer image of spending time with my mother for Christmas mostly, but other holidays. She would play the victim, forget to buy gifts (which is not the point) and make up stories about things getting lost in the mail – when in all actuality, she has never bought anything at all and felt too guilty to admit it.
It became a personal affront to her – saying that the postal service has done great injustices to her, and that now she is broke and cannot buy gifts because she would not be refunded.
It wasn’t the gifts – I couldn’t give a narwhal’s tail fin if I received a gift. I just wanted to see her and be loved by her. She just couldn’t see beyond her own cocoon of egocentric self-victimization complex.
I let go of the grudge after many years and I feel multitudes better for it.