No, and if I’m honest, I wish it would

Was today typical?


I’m in a slump and very depressed. Medically, I’m being toyed with as if my life were simply suspended on a marionette with the insurance company as puppeteer. I’m irritated, and frankly very pissed off.

However, this will not be forever, and life will resume as usual. This happens every so often where I feel like the sheer magnitude of my medical mishaps might actually push me over the edge of sanity. While I perch on the precipice of life – dangling my limbs over the edge, there is still enough strength to keep myself from fully succumbing.

Physical health challenges are not without their mental health counterparts. If one becomes unbalanced, like a scale, it throws the other off as well.

Finding physicians in the area that can help me has been one of the greater challenges I’ve been facing. If they aren’t in the area – it makes it nearly impossible to attend appointments as I’m restricted from driving (health). This often leads to cancellations or just complete inability to be there.

I have a feeding tube and no GI doctor. I have MS and no neurologist (worth anything at least). Have I tried? Yes. They tell me I need to see a specialist. I can’t. They are all forty to fifty miles away from me. I do try.

I had an appointment for my brain issues this month. They canceled it because they want me to see their Neuro and get the tests in their facility. I mean… I get it but not everyone has the time or money to drop on more appointments and more traveling. It’s just not feasible anymore.

Well… as you can tell, there are plenty of reasons to be depressed, but only a few of them are permanent. The rest could change and will change. It will go back to normal and I will feel better eventually.

I apologize for the sad post. This is my blog, and I’m real on here.

One response to “No, and if I’m honest, I wish it would”

  1. Sometimes, all you can do is hang in there. Stay strong.

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